Personal Post

Hey guys,

This one is sad as fuck (for me, at least) so no one HAS to read it. Actually, you probably SHOULDN'T because I'm so sad that it'll probably be the self pity party of the year.

Why am I so sad, you may ask?

Well, a couple of reasons but the main one is that I'll be homeless (again. AGAIN.) in about 3 days. I was going to go into the details but then I realized that, honestly, no gives the slightest shit. I live with my parents and only brother so staying with them isn't the option it is for some people as they'll be homeless with me too. I have 3 dogs and 1 cat that I'm unwilling to let go of (and that I sacrifice my own necessities to keep them healthy, well fed, and happy). So, my choices are limited to motel 6 or my car.

I've had the experience of sleeping in a car and it honestly sucks. I'm sitting on my bed and just thinking how I'll won't be this comfortable and how I won't feel this relaxed in a long time. The worst part of being on the street is that feeling that you have nowhere to go where you feel taken care of, nowhere to relax, no privacy, all pain and sadness. Last time this happened, my brother attempted suicide. It really was something to sit at the hospital hoping he was ok while simultaneously having nowhere to go and being a little grateful that I had somewhere with a roof to sit under.

I don't know if I can make it. I don't know what to do. I keep looking for work (any work! I don't feel entitled to anything! I'd work at mcdonald's!) and just trying so hard and getting nothing. It's like we have a freaking curse following us around.

I'll try to keep posting about the subs I still have so this little blog won't be affected (hopefully) and I still have a whimseybox review to post that I've been avoiding because I wanted to avoid this post but I'd rather be honest with myself and document my life as a fashion and makeup loving college grad (is it even worth having a degree anymore? mine has sure been useless and it was in science!) that loves subscription boxes and is also on the street.

It will definitely be a bumpy ride and it will be one of the hardest times of my life but I think I'll document it for posterity. Fuck it, I might as well so I can see what it is that I'm doing wrong in my life.