WARNING: This post is all about me so skip it. I've got a zillion posts about boxes and I'm waiting for this month's haul to get delivered to my new PO box so we should have some new box love pretty soon.
Hey all,
Sooooo, I'm still fuuuucked but I've decided to take it all in stride. I have till my bday (seriously and also, thank you sheriff) to move out so I've got this weekend to still sleep in my own bed. My actual birthday won't be celebrated as such and it's a shame because I love love LOVE my bday and as it's Veteran's Day, I have declared it a national holiday (ok, so it is because of Veteran's Day/ Remembrance Day but I like to think having my bday on a holiday and not a huge one like Christmas is pretty cool).
My bday dreams are shot to hell but I'm trying not to dwell (rhyming!!). All I can do now is try to find some cash of which there is none to pay for a storage facility to store all my books and stuff whilst I'm homeless. I've begun to think that, for some people, life is bad thing after bad thing and I've read biographies where I'm like "seriously? wtf? why did this one person deserve so much bad shit?". I'm worried that that's me. The bad stuff has outnumbered the good stuff in my life. How can I live knowing that everything in the future isn't really worth living for? That all my hopes and dreams are constantly squashed?
I'm the queen of bad luck like all the time but, for example, one relative (close) won a house (no joke, won it after having my grandma's house and her parent's house promised to her in the will), got a big fancy wedding, got a job thanks to her grandpa (other side) and does nothing but facebook all day whilst earning money for it. She's all been on vacation like 8 times this year and had like 7 bachelorette parties. The craziest part is that she isn't super smart (I used to help her with her homework), went to a relatively crappy university/had a useless major (mine were legit better as if that even matters), and isn't a great person overall. However, she gets all the love from our grandma (has been the favorite since she was born) and, apparently, the luck. I guess it helps to have parents that aren't destitute too but it shouldn't matter in our 20's, should it? I guess cash/connections do give you a head start in life (duh) and a lack of those gives you a shitty life like mine. I wonder why I even wasted 4 years on a Neuroscience degree when I can't find a job to save my life (literally). I feel like I got tricked into thinking college was the answer and now all I get are student loans collections calls and no way to pay them back.
People give Generation Y a bad rap and call us lazy but I'd be overjoyed to have the chance to work my ass off to get any sort of money to help out my family. All I want is freaking chance and I can't seem to find it! We all see unemployment statistics on the news and don't really give a shit because we subconsciously assume those people somehow deserve it (lazy, losers, whatever) but it sucks to turn into a statistic of something everyone wants to avoid.
Ugh, whatever. This pity party sucks. I do think I got the shit deal when it comes to life overall but, in the end, I can't blame anyone but myself.
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