Yes, yes, yes/ Let's get into the real stuff.

Let's say no more about my most recent absence than this: I was forced to pawn my laptop and I just got it back so I'm back. Ugh, I could explain how bad things get but I feel like it's redundant at this point and I just want to focus on good and happy things. Furthermore, during my most recent bout of poverty I was unable to actually keep subscribing to any of my beloved boxes so there would've been no point in posting anyway. *sad panda*

Ok, getting that out of the way, I'm going to slowly get back on the horse (the blogging horse? sounds like a hipster horse on a laptop outside a coffee shop, right?) and review a box I was able to get because, wow, did/do I miss all my subs. They kept me happier than not and their loss has actually been pretty sucky. 

Plus (PLUS!!!!) the holidays are coming up and seeing as they are my jam... well, you get it. I think I might expand to write about more than just box reviews. Maybe more about makeup (like the upcoming holiday collections or Urban Decay's Vice 3 palette which I'm literally drooling over) and fashion (fashion weeks!! but let's be real, I'm high street all the way) and maybe even other stuff like pop culture. Everyone is going nuts over Gilmore Girls coming onto Netflix on October 1st and I might actually have to re-open my netflix account and holy crap, Sons of Anarchy's final season and omg Jax, right?

Soooo, I have big plans for the future of this little blog. Big ones (sounds slightly dirty lol) coming soon (like later today or tomorrow.... not an indeterminate future because I hate 'coming soon' without any actual dates, 'tis a peeve of mine). 

Julep June 2014 Box Review

Hello peepsicles!

I've been feeling crappy the last couple of days and also the world cup so I didn't post this Julep review as soon as I should have. It might be on the brief side (well, in comparison to my long winded soliloquy-stylez other reviews) because I'm seriously crappy/tired but hopefully my next review will be back to a solid three hour read (I'd never really do that to anyone who would take the time to read anything written by lil ol' me. Or would I?)

Note: I have like 2 box pics so I've decided to pick up a couple from Julep and I don't own those images, I'm just using them to illustrate the colors I was sent.

Now on to the good stuff:

Left to right: Phia, Jennine, and Savoy.

Ok, so this was my first box back after months of a sub-less desert of life and I don't think I even made any selections during the selection period (20-24th of the month). I was automatically sent the 'it girl' box since that's my profile. Don't worry, you don't get a box if you don't want it since you can skip any month you want or you can change your choice/profile monthly. It's really a kind of no-frills box with no add-ons or extras, just the standard 3 nail colors.

 Now, I looooove Julep so I still liked the colors I got but I hope we get a super summery and bright (maybe neons and pastels? I'm all about bright colors right now) collection next month and maybe some lip products because yessssss. Before I forget, this collection's moniker is 'Three Wishes' which does seem in tune with the tones (mad rhyming skills, yes?!).

Julep Nail Color in Phia

Phia is described as an 'alluring orchid iridescent chrome' and it really is. It's actually my manicure today and one coat looks good, two coats perfect. It looks sheerer than it really is (it applies almost full coverage with one coat) and the shimmery purple is so much better looking on my nails than what I originally expected. The formula was great too. It applied smooth, no gloopiness, and no streaks (a miracle!). It might be my favorite this month. 10/10

Julep Nail Color in Jennine

I'm a sucker for glitter and anyone who has read any (seriously ANY) of my other reviews knows this. Plus, if I see a 'stardust finish' sticker, I get excited like a dog with a bone. Julep describes it as a 'full coverage borealis blue stardust (matte glitter)'. I feel like it reminds me more of mermaids because of the sea reminiscent color (and I recently watched 'The Little Mermaid' and I'm just really feeling mermaids this month) and it is pretty cute. I don't know what to really mix it up with combination wise but I DO know that applying a glossy topcoat takes away the texture and cool matte glitter look so don't do it! It'll just look like a standard glitter and no one wants that, right?? It really is full coverage and one coat won't show through but I always do two (or three only when I really can't get a color right where I want it and then I'm worried that it'll just peel off....) and the formula was great for a glitter! It wasn't horrible to apply like glitters typically are and there was no thickness or gloop. Ugh, I just makes me crave that mermaid theme box at birchbox so much which I can't even dream of because it retails at $44.00 and I am poor as a $2 whore (assuming she's not working much). Overall, I don't know if I'd typically pick up this color for myself but I'm very glad I did get it because it's a lot cuter than I expected by the looks of the bottle. I'm starting to think nail polishes are like shoes, you really have to try them on to really know if you love them or not. 10/10

Julep Nail Color in Savoy

So, first of all, this one I feel like I have many dupes of but I still love the shade because I love metals. Unfortunately, the color I expected to be my fave was delivered in what seems like a partially opened or broken or poorly manufactured bottle. The inside of the top started cracking when I opened it and nail polish was all over the top and the sides. It suuuucked big time. I love the color and I still swatched it but due to it's being freaking open, the formula was super thick and streaky. I don't really think this is the case for anyone who got a clean bottle but it was a major disappointment for me and my metal loving ways. Fortunately, Julep has great customer service and I got in touch with them so we'll see what happens. 1/10


Overall, the June box was solid and the colors cute (except for the open bottle because whyyyyy) but it wasn't the most amazing box I've gotten (there have been some *amazing* ones). I almost forgot to mention that there were a couple of Pixie sticks added in as an extra and I realized I'd never tried them before (like ever!) and it was a good introduction to these crazy ass little sugar straws but I only got to taste one because my sugar fiend of a father (shout out to my pa' because it's father's day and I love him sooo much! He's sick right now and I hope with all of my heart that he'll get better because I'm pretty sure I don't and can't love anyone as much as I love him) was gifted the other. In the end, I'm sooooo happy to have been able to get this box in the first place and I'm already giddy and excited for next month. So hopefully I'll be extolling on the virtues of Julep for a while.

7/10 (thanks to the open bottle and just so you all know, there is no actual mathematical averaging going on, I just pick numbers on a 1-10 scale ;P)

Box:

Julep Maven

Frequency:

Monthly

Price:

$19.99 (add-on prices vary and are added on to the $19.99 base price) 

Perks: 

Ability to earn free boxes, ability to use earned jules to pay for add-ons, etc.

Recommend? 

Yep. I liked this month's box and Julep has made me a happy Leslie just by sending me one. Their CS is pretty great (especially if you call in because emails may take a while to get a response) and their variety of offered items gets better and more varied (to be redundant) every month. It used to be a straightforward nail polish sub but with the addition of other nail polish-less profiles, you can get different items each month without having to get polish at all. I think I might take that up sometime when I'm not in the mood for that month's nail colors (since you can change your choice every month). In conclusion, I'd say try a month if you're really interested and need/want more nail colors in your life . You can always (and should!) cancel if you're not in completely in love like I am.

As always, don't spend your hard earned cash on something you're not 100% in love with!

Birchbox May 2014 Review (!)

I have triumphantly returned to my reviews! I got the may box with a promo for old subscribers and I decided to re-sub because I just NEEDED to and that's why this May review is in June and pretty close to the June review. Who cares though because here's the review! Whoo!

Note: I'm using my crappy 4th gen ipod for the pics (my new one is currently indisposed) so the pics might suck hard. I'll try to rectify this asap.

First impression.

Inserts: Coola and Kate Spade Saturday

A slightly better look at this month's samples.

Caudalie Polyphenol C15 Overnight Detox Oil (Full size retail $65)

Birchbox tends to get a bit of a reputation of sending super small samples and at first glance, this sample is fucking minute. However (HOWEVER!!), this is an upmarket brand and as such, giving too much away would kind of defeat the purpose of sampling and then buying. Seeing as I have a freaking veritable oil slick of a face (and I know, I know oil can be good oily skin but I haaaaate the feeling of oil on my skin), I’m not particularly interested and then another issue arises, this detox oil is better for a certain age range of skin which I’m not yet part of. On the other hand, my mom loves shit like this so she is the lucky duck who got this sample. According to her, it smells and feels good so even though this sample was a bust for me, I got to gift it to my mommy! 7/10 for me 10/10 for mom

Coola Environmental Repair Plus Radical Recovery After-Sun Lotion (Full size retail $32)

I like the Coola brand and birchbox does tend to send out Coola items fairly often. However, this specific sample is an interesting one because it isn’t just your typical sunscreen sample (of which I've been sent a zillion), it’s an after-sun lotion. Fortunately, this really came in handy for me today as I got an involuntary sunburn on my arm after being stuck in what can only be described as infernal traffic summoned by el chicuco (aka the devil) himself. It has a really pleasant almost herbal scent, it isn’t oily at all (yes!) and absorbs quickly. I have to admit the truth: I'm quite happy to have gotten this sample (deluxe sample size btw) in the may box. Great placement for the summer and I didn’t expect to like it but, having tried it, I love it. This is gonna definitely be a full size purchase. Try it peeps, you won’t be disappointed. If you are, remember I love you and you should hate Coola and not your bff Leslie. 10/10!

Pixi Shea Butter Lip Balm in Coral Crush (Full size retail $8.00)

Full freakin SIZE!! I had to lead this review like this because yes!!! I love getting a full size surprise and anything for lips is my jam. Coral Crush is a great color and quite universal so it can be worn with a variety of skin tones and it looks fucking magnificent on me. Plus, it’s a Shea Butter lip balm and my perpetually dry lips (despite the frequent and liberal application of baby lips which so far isn’t giving me anything but baby butt rash lips) are already feeling better. The feel isn’t heavy and the color gives a sheer but buildable color that I’m in love with. I’ve never really been a Pixi brand fan but this lip balm got me. I’m gonna look for other colors at target because I’m in love. Favorite item in this month’s birchbox, hands down. 11/10

Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer (Full size retail $36)

Sooo, I have already gotten many of these in other sample boxes and in VIB Rouge promotions from Sephora but another can’t hurt. I’ve found that it is highly recommended but most makeup peeps I’ve talked to but I personally found that this version isn’t great for oily skin and actually the oily skin version broke me out so make yeah. Sample size is deluxe and enough for a more than a couple of applications since you don’t need too much to prime your face in the first place. I need to find a new primer since none of the ones I’ve found can even compare to awesomeness of Benefit’s Porefessional but since I currently can’t afford it, I’m kinda SOL. Overall, legit brand and generally recommended and since no one has the same skin issues, you might find it's perfect for you. 8/10

Lifestyle Extra: All-in-One Fiber Gummies for Weight Management ($47.95 for a 30 day supply)

First reaction upon reading the product card: W. T. F.

ANYTHING referring to weight management is not really the kind of thing that I want to get in my birchbox. Fortunately, the actual vitamin packaging doesn’t refer to instant weight loss (big ass red flag if it did) or really anything related. Since it’s touted as a lifestyle extra, I decided to go ahead and reticently try the 2 gummies that came in the sample (should’ve been like 6 if they really wanted people to get used to them) and although I was prepared to hate them with the fiery hate of a million suns, the gummies are actually really tasty. However, there is no way in helll that I would pay nearly $50 for a month’s supply. Target has gummies for something like $14 and if vitamin gummies are just your holy grail of gummy perfection, then I recommend trying either one (depending on the depth of your wallet; mine is as shallow and empty as a Kardashian brain). So, overall, yummy but way too overpriced for me. 7/10

Another extra*: Birchbox Aces Makeup bag/Zipper Pouch

• I actually got this in a separate package a few weeks ago.

So, it turns out that I have reached Ace status. I don’t even know how but getting this pochette was a great surprise. The Birchbox pink detailing on the zipper, zipper pull and on the label is really cute against the beige background. This didn’t come in May’s birchbox and is only for Aces apparently but I love it and it made me feel kinda fancy which hasn’t happened in a long while seeing as I’m still broke as a joke. 20/10

Birchbox Aces Bag/Pochette

Card that sort of explains why I got the bag.

Overall:

I’m so so soooo glad to be back with birchbox!!!! I feel like got a pretty great box for my comeback and I was honestly super cautious as to what I would get (like 46 perfume samples or something I hated) but was pleasantly surprised (except for the gummies, DON’T ever send me overpriced gummies again!!!!) There were also a couple of offers inside the box, one was an sun protection info card from Coola that also announces a $1200 in products giveaway and the other was a $25 of a $75.00 purchase coupon at Kate Spade Saturday (omg do I love Kate Spade).

Finally, I'm now infatuated with the Pixi Shea Butter Lip Balm (ffs I just cannot get enough lip products) and getting that monthly surprise (the good kind not the other painful kind) still feels great to me. 9/10

Box: Birchbox

Price: $10 per month or $120 per year.

Perks: Ability to earn points (you get 10 for review each item you get in your monthly birchbox as well as earn them when you buy something in the store) which can be converted to 100 pts= $10 200 pts= $20 and so on (I haven’t had the self control to get past $30 because I always find need NEED some product in my life).

Promo Codes: Try promo code: bb100 for 100 pts if you subscribe aka $10 bucks to spend after you pay $10 bucks for the box. If you plan to shop Birchbox like a mofo, then you get your first box essentially free. I’m not 100% sure it’ll work but it can't hurt to give it a try.

Recommend?

Yes!!!!!! It was hard to live without my beloved Birchbox and I just really love the fact that they send fancier (for lack of a better word) samples than other similarly priced boxes (but I still love those other boxes too jsyk!) and getting a full sized item on my first box back was magnificent and enough to keep me on the birchbox train for another month.

Testing 1,2

Since my beloved laptop is still (STILL) in hock, I'm gonna have to write these posts on my old iPod (yep, because my new one was also pawned) and I have to test post because this damn thing shuts down apps so quickly it drives me cuckoo bananas.

While I had to give up all my subs a few months ago, I'm trying to get back in the groove and the first sub box I re-subbed to I'd due on the 2nd of June so you can expect a post about it ASAP as well as musings on other makeup related issues like the important issues I typically write about: what I want to get at sephora or ulta and/or announcements about LE lines coming out next season.

Life changing stuff, I assure you ;)

Dickens ain't got nothing on me*/ why I love whimseybox and glossybox

Ahhhhhhhh.

I haven't been able to post a damn thing in the past oh two or so months thanks to my terrible, just terrible luck. I'm still homeless (so that's two months and counting, almost three) so that's why I've had some issues with posting. However,  I've still been trying to keep up with some subs (I know! But I'm not paying, per se) so as to review them. I'm thinking I'll just start afresh this year and forget all the drama of the past two months. So, I'll get back to doing the posts as much as I can.

Since I had to ix-nay 90% of the subs due to my extremely dire situation (to the point that I'm starting to believe that someone is doing voodoo on me, guys. VOODOO.) However, I love doing this and I'm unhappy without my posts so here I am, rockin' you like a hurricane.

I got me a free (1000 points) January Glossybox and I'll be reviewing that as soon as it's in my greedy little hands. I might, however, have to use stock images of the items since I am still without camera, etc. and my pretty posting abilities are mighty limited. I do have to say that they seem to have gotten into the groove of things and have been quite stable with the shipping of the boxes. Plus, the samples are awesome, for lack of a better word (or my laziness when even thinking of trying to come up with one). I got a deluxe sample of Ardency Inn's Punker eyeliner marker in my last box and I was so excited because I'd been wanting to try it since I saw it on sephora's 'what's new' page a while ago. I'm hoping for and almost expecting good things. We shall see, though since counting on a good box is never the best idea!


Also, a super-duper OMG honorary mention to whimseybox (btw, if you use this link, you get $5 off your first box so it'd be a grand total of $10.00 SO WORTH IT if you love crafts, beginner, expert or in between) for making my month. I had some referrals and I knew I wouldn't be able to pay for my sub and they were incredibly nice enough to send me a big box with the October, November, and December boxes. They're the best and I hope to get back to craft happiness ASAP. Plus, the notepad included in the November box and the 2014 mini calendar included in the December box were icing on the cake. I love whimseybox and I seriously recommend them to any of my crafting peeps. Like 100% recommend them. I'll try to make a brief post on all the month's of boxes of stuff so you guys can understand the level of awesomeness I speak of!


I might be in the middle of what could conceivably be one of the worst periods of my life but I still love this and I'm tired of grimness and pain dominating my days. Peeps, I even ended up in the hospital last night because I couldn't stop vomiting all day. When you get that sick and then have to go back to a motel room but are grateful that you can even go back to a motel room, well that's when you know shit is rough. I'm gonna recover and I'm gonna fight all this shit. I'm putting this out there for posterity and for anyone who happens to read this tiny blog that being in what can only be described as the dankest pit of shit that life can offer doesn't have to kill your love of beauty (be it cosmetics or architecture or pastels, ribbons, painting, clothing, fashion, sunsets, cameos, ocean breezes, kittens or whatever) and even when you have to fight to remember that there is beauty left, keep fighting. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, that this will never end. Well, if it does end up that way: fuck it, I'm going down kicking and screaming.


Fuck it all, I'M BACK.
















*reference to the tile of a Charles Dickens novel and general theme that has very much been a part of my life lately. If you don't get it, I'm totes disappoint.

Quick Update: Birchbox, Popsugar, etc.

Hi peeps!

It's been a while since my last post and I had to come back to update y'all on the situation. For the good news portion, I can tell you that I've finally (FINALLY) got the November birchbox  in hand after it, no joke, being sent to me on the 18th or so. It's allright (and chocolate, a big bar [not those measly tiny sample sizes!] is included!) and I'll be trying to post a review as soon as possible. My popsugar must have  box got sent to my old address and wasn't correctly forwarded to my PO Box so now I've had to get a replacement and apparently they're sending it by fedex (which can't be sent to a PO Box so yay) so I've got no official ETA on that one. Weirdly enough, it isn't only my current homelessness that has stopped me from posting but the fact that up until yesterdays birchbox delivery, I hadn't gotten any of this month's boxes even though it's now the 25th!!!

So, it might seem that the universe has conspired to fuck me over on this month's reviews but I will get them up!! I actually had to pawn my ipad, laptop and new ipod for motel room stays (seriously. my life seems even sadder, if that's possible, when I see the details written down) and I was only able to get my laptop and ipad back today after I pawned my car to pay bills (yep, that low). Since I have no access to my camera right now (being homeless and all), I'll be using my ipad to take shitty/grainy pics while I can save up enough to get my ipod out of hock so apologies beforehand. Ugh, I'm so sad every day. It's almost thanksgiving and I'm still on the street and seeing all the Christmas decorations and sales and holiday food and movies is just adding extra salt to the wound.

However, I won't let this completely devolve into a pity party so I'll end it here.

*Good things: I've got one box and a review soon to come and possibly another box this week that'll be reviewed asap.

*Bad things: everything else!


Let's just keep on keeping on and I'll post the new birchbox review soon so I can show off my chocolate, mini nail polish (why blue, whyyyyyy), and lip gloss.

Birchbox Mini pre-review review: a solid assortment that would've been awesome if the nail polish was metallic as I'd assumed rather than a drab sort of blue that I've got no interest in. I got a hair product (aloxxi leave in conditioner spray), Color Club nail polish, Laura Mercier lip glaze, a Ghiradelli (sp?) chocolate bar and a foil packet trio of skin care samples. All in all, an 8.5/10

Personal Post Pt.2

WARNING: This post is all about me so skip it. I've got a zillion posts about boxes and I'm waiting for this month's haul to get delivered to my new PO box so we should have some new box love pretty soon.


Hey all,

Sooooo, I'm still fuuuucked but I've decided to take it all in stride. I have till my bday (seriously and also, thank you sheriff) to move out so I've got this weekend to still sleep in my own bed. My actual birthday won't be celebrated as such and it's a shame because I love love LOVE my bday and as it's Veteran's Day, I have declared it a national holiday (ok, so it is because of Veteran's Day/ Remembrance Day but I like to think having my bday on a holiday and not a huge one like Christmas is pretty cool).

My bday dreams are shot to hell but I'm trying not to dwell (rhyming!!). All I can do now is try to find some cash of which there is none to pay for a storage facility to store all my books and stuff whilst I'm homeless. I've begun to think that, for some people, life is bad thing after bad thing and I've read biographies where I'm like "seriously? wtf? why did this one person deserve so much bad shit?". I'm worried that that's me. The bad stuff has outnumbered the good stuff in my life. How can I live knowing that everything in the future isn't really worth living for? That all my hopes and dreams are constantly squashed?

I'm the queen of bad luck like all the time but, for example, one relative (close) won a house (no joke, won it after having my grandma's house and her parent's house promised to her in the will), got a big fancy wedding, got a job thanks to her grandpa (other side) and does nothing but facebook all day whilst earning money for it. She's all been on vacation like 8 times this year and had like 7 bachelorette parties. The craziest part is that she isn't super smart (I used to help her with her homework), went to a relatively crappy university/had a useless major (mine were legit better as if that even matters), and isn't a great person overall. However, she gets all the love from our grandma (has been the favorite since she was born) and, apparently, the luck. I guess it helps to have parents that aren't destitute too but it shouldn't matter in our 20's, should it? I guess cash/connections do give you a head start in life (duh) and a lack of those gives you a shitty life like mine. I wonder why I even wasted 4 years on a Neuroscience degree when I can't find a job to save my life (literally). I feel like I got tricked into thinking college was the answer and now all I get are student loans collections calls and no way to pay them back.

People give Generation Y a bad rap and call us lazy but I'd be overjoyed to have the chance to work my ass off to get any sort of money to help out my family. All I want is freaking chance and I can't seem to find it! We all see unemployment statistics on the news and don't really give a shit because we subconsciously assume those people somehow deserve it (lazy, losers, whatever) but it sucks to turn into a statistic of something everyone wants to avoid.

Ugh, whatever. This pity party sucks. I do think I got the shit deal when it comes to life overall but, in the end, I can't blame anyone but myself.